In the beginning, I operated under a model that combined logic and emotion into what I believed was a stable, smooth surface. This model suggested that no matter how low or stable my emotions were, the logical integration would lead to conclusions about my relationship that were consistent and reliable—like driving on a perfectly paved road.
However, as I navigated through real-life experiences, it became clear that this model did not hold. When I was emotionally low, my conclusions about the future of my relationship were often bleak and pessimistic. Conversely, when I was emotionally balanced or positive, the outlook seemed hopeful and optimistic. The gap between these sets of conclusions was vast, exposing the limitations of the first model. It failed to account for the profound influence of emotional states on my logical assessments, leading to radically different views of the same relationship depending on my emotional vantage point.
This realization led me to adopt a second model—one that recognized the inherently dynamic nature of human emotion and its impact on reasoning. Instead of expecting a smooth, unwavering surface, this model acknowledged that my mind was more like a surfer riding the ever-changing tides of emotion. The goal was not to flatten these waves but to learn how to balance and adapt to them. It recognized that the conclusions I drew at emotional peaks and troughs would naturally differ, and that navigating these differences was part of the human experience.
Through this new lens, the large discrepancies in my conclusions were no longer flaws but natural outcomes of an ever-shifting emotional landscape. The second model provided a more realistic framework, one that embraced the complexity and fluidity of human emotions. It taught me that consistency in conclusions is not always the goal; rather, the goal is to skillfully ride the waves, understanding that each state brings its own valid perspective.
In the end, the shift from the illusion of a smooth road to the reality of surfing emotional waves has been transformative. It allowed me to understand that the mind’s journey is not about achieving a false sense of stability, but about becoming adept at adjusting to the constant ebb and flow of our emotional experiences.